The Asian & American Man
My Experiences with Contrasting Cultural and Social Expectations
Hey there, my name is Brian! I am an Asian American male living in the Bay Area, and soon entering my 30s. My parents are US immigrants from Hong Kong, and I was born in the US, so I had the pleasure to have experienced Chinese culture from home alongside American culture from public schooling and peers.
As I make an exit of (what people have told me will be) the most exciting decade of my life, I reflect on the different facets of my personality that not only changed from life experiences, but also adjusted from social environmental factors. A large part of that change is maturity, I can’t lie about that, like taking up more responsibility in life and at work. However, I felt that in order to become who I am today, a person confident enough to write this article and share it publicly (along with other things), I had to tackle and resolve multiple clashing ideas from my two different cultural backgrounds.
For me, the mixed culture was noticeable from the start. It began as being not really long-term impactful though, like bringing ethnically different lunches than other kids in elementary school, and wanting some cultural assimilation at home to fit in at school (cause kids are ruthless). However, there were other teachings that ultimately affected my personality in the long term: don’t question your elders, do as you’re told, money motivation, keep to yourself.
If I was living in Hong Kong, sure, that mindset would be the norm and I would fit in, but here in the US, those ideas are not the norm.
Along with these cultural ideas, the idea of masculinity is different from Asian and American culture, as you can probably tell from K-pop stars compared to Top Gun, macho-man kind of image. Dynamics and communication between parents and their children also differ; not just the hierarchy, but also emotional vulnerability.
Not saying every single purely American family follows the generalizations I describe here that model the main differences between the two cultures, but the ideas that are popular in media, especially family-themed movies, and I think that is a strong basis to assume that they are popular enough.
This article is the start of a new series: The Asian & American Man. Follow me on a journey as I dive into the contrasting ideas between Asian and American culture, experiences of Asian Americans that grew up here in the US like myself, and how it influences and factors into being the “ideal man” in US culture. Ideas like:
- Masculinity
- Measuring life success
- Socializing, assimilation, and dating
- Model minority
- Emotional vulnerability
- Belonging and fitting into a community
- Balancing family and personal life
If you’re interested in these topics, or there’re any specific topics you’re interested about and want to be part of the conversation, leave a comment below.
Thanks for reading!
Peace and love,
If you enjoyed this article, give me a follow! It helps a lot with growing the community 😊😊😊
Brian Lee is a software engineer, and personal growth enthusiast. He is passionate about understanding human behaviors, social theory, psychology, personality development, personal growth, and also tech stuff.
